Life as a graduate student?

...Or maybe I'm just crazy
*Rant alert!*

On the eve of the beginning of my 28th year on this earth, I was quietly reflecting the meaning of life....well not really.
Ok..so..I'm sitting here, reading a review paper for a tutorial session on mathematical modeling and apoptosis (yeah..i rolled my eyes too) and it starts off really heavy and is difficult to understand, but as I continue reading, it gets easier and almost enjoyable.

In 27 years, I've learned about myself that I enjoy learning especially about science...and I enjoy thinking about it and sometimes obsessing about it. It's like a game...trying to figure out how things work...in order to figure out how to fix it when it doesn't work as it should.

But...it's as frustrating as it is enjoyable because I feel like the more I learn, they more I realize how much more I have to learn and the prospect of being able to learn enough is really daunting.
So I'm reading the paper and I'm thinking about my particular area of interest and how it relates to apoptosis and I'm thinking about my project and I'm slowly getting frustrated and feeling like if i deviate from what I think is my focus, I'll get too distracted and I'll never be done with school...

And then I remember being at the airport yesterday watching war veterans returning from Afghanistan...most of them younger than me...some older. And I'm thinking about those that don't get to make it back....and their families. And how regardless of the reasons behind their joining the military...the only reasons why there is a war and why the need to be over there in the first place is through no direct fault of theirs.

They're out there fighting a war for people like our senators and representatives who feel it's their right to sit in their houses that we pay for and dictate what a woman does with her body.. whether or not I can own a house..whether or not people who work for a living can afford to save money to retire..whether or not people who lost their job due to the economic downturn that was more than likely helped by this parasitic war get to have health insurance...whether or not you have to wait until you are 70.5 to withdraw money from your 401k...those people.

They're out there fighting those people who clearly...CLEARLY are reincarnations of whatever god they believe in and perfect and pure and devoid of any wrongdoings get to decide who is immoral and who deserves to live and die...who stone little girls...who bury little girls alive...who feel like 30 years of dictatorship is too little...who are so blinded by the pursuit of absolute power that they do not see how truly powerless they are....

And when they come home, they don't get to sleep peacefully because they bring back visions of horror as souvenirs


So now I'm feeling like a whiny little crybaby and hating myself for thinking that anything I'm battling does not even begin to compare to what these soldiers and their families face (and let's not even get me started on Africa..that's its own can of worms).


And I'm feeling ashamed because being inundated with news about the war and the world has left me apathetic even to what's going on right outside my door....so i shut it all out and try and focus on one thing for now...but I can't.


So I tell myself that the only way to make a difference in the world is to start with the world I face everyday..but that seems so small and insignificant compared to what is going on out there. Still I smile and I listen and I try to be present in the moment.


This works 99% of the time...my mind is occupied with thoughts and plans and goals and projects that keep me busy...but all it takes is that 1% when I get so overwhelmed with what's going on 99% of the time that I'm forced to take a step back and question the relevance of 99% of my time.


And that leaves me here...discouraged and disillusioned, overwhelmed by problems that appear insurmountable. Problems that make me feel like..."if I could only fix this...everything else will fall into place"...but where to start?


1% definitely puts things in perspective..like who the bloody hell cares if your experiments work?or if you have a good day?or if you have something planned for your birthday?

But what comes after the 1%? and before the 99% kicks in again? sometimes it's numbness...sometimes it's the strong belief the there is something out there bigger than us...that has a grand design of how things should be and makes me believe that my existence is indeed relevant and if i do everything right will amount to something useful...but it's never both...

And today...I am numb

Fab Grad

I’ve been lucky enough to meet many interesting people in industry and academia. The idea to do brief interviews with these people was part of my motivation for this blog. I’m hoping to make it a recurring post and to include different people ranging from grad students to professors and people in industry…. My fellow graduate students were gracious enough to allow me to begin with them….Thanks guys!

Meet Sunetra…

Where are you from?

Born in Calcutta and raised in Bombay, India

What is your educational background?

I received my bachelor’s degree in Pharmacy, my master’s in Neuropharmacology and am currently studying for my PhD in Biochemistry, Cellular and Molecular Biology

What areas or scientific research are you most interested in?

Pharmacology and Oncology

Pharmacology seems to be a recurring trend with you; do you have any nonscientific interests?

Sports (all except Indy Car Racing), Fashion

Sports? Interesting…Do you play any sports? Or have any hobbies?

I recently took up running and I love it but I also love to read, shop, travel and hang out with friends.

You seem to have a pretty balanced lifestyle especially for a graduate student, are you involved in any activities beyond research? 
I’m a part of a program called the Incentive Mentoring program which gives me the opportunity to work with local high school kids at risk of failing/dropping out. Having mentors who have been through high school and college often gives them the added support and encouragement they need and I feel it provides them with a higher chance of academic success.

And as far as travelling goes, if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

That’s a tough one; I would love to visit all of South America

Purely for the scenery I’m sure! *She’s a big Kaka fan*

So if you weren’t training to be a scientist, what other career paths would you have considered?
I would consider doing an MD – PhD training program instead or maybe advertising

As a seasoned graduate student (3 years in)…what are some things you wished you’d known before you started?

Definitely that graduate school is not just about long hours at the bench. You can have a life while in grad school.

Do you have any and advice for future graduate students?

Science doesn’t happen in one day. You have to keep at it so be patient, don’t stay with a project that doesn’t inspire you but always give it [research] your best shot.

And finally, finish this sentence …

“In 5 years I hope to be….at a high executive position in a pharmaceutical company managing people working towards drug development”

    

The Real Final Exam by Don Coffey

I've had the opportunity to hear Donald Coffey speak about cancer and scientific research twice. And while I'm a sappy person by nature, his talks always leave me kind of misty eyed but very inspired.
Most people who decide to go into biomedical research do not do so for the glory and fame of it all (those that do are MDs...kidding!!) :)

Anyway, here is a short article by Donald Coffey called "The Real Final Exam"...it's a nice short read that I think holds a lot of truth.

    

The Real Final Exam
Donald S. Coffey
Professor of Urology, Oncology, and Pharmacology Brady Urological Institute,

The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Baltimore, Maryland

SOME THOUGHTS TO PONDER ALONG YOUR WAY)

I have no more insight into science than many others; I was just naive enough to list the obvious to which most of us are blinded because of measurements by false yardsticks and examples which are always in vogue. I know that with time you can expand and improve your own list. In my weakness, I give students so many sheets or handouts of useless data to memorize that I thought a few important concepts might be worth sharing with you.

1.        IF THIS IS TRUE, WHAT DOES IT IMPLY?
Calculate the time it takes to do an experiment, then put down the percent of time you actually
thought about the results; you will be lucky if it is 10%. We usually don’t need more experiments, we need more clear thinking. If you can practice this to an art, you will always have new ideas and insight. Inhibitions to generate ideas and present trends and concepts, tend to paralyze this important process.

2.       GENERATE MORE THAN ONE CONCEPT TO EXPLAIN YOUR DATA, THEN GIVE ALL POSSIBILITIES EQUAL ATTENTION AND EFFORT.
Your pet theory . . . . will usually turn out to be just that.


3.       YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASSUME ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN PROVE.
“When you assume, you are going to make an ASS-of U and ME” - Coach, in Bad News Bears.

4.        THE EXPERIMENT THAT DIDN’T COME OUT THE WAY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD, IS THE ONLY EXPERIMENT THAT IS REALLY GOING TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING NEW.
The key observations are usually “swept under the rug” or rationalized away. The one fact that doesn’t fit the theory is always the most important fact.

5.        EVERY DATUM IS SCREAMING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, BUT YOU MUST DO THE LISTENING AND THINKING.
If it isn’t worth thinking about, it wasn’t worth doing. A burning curiosity is the “ATP” of the laboratory.

6.        WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT WHILE YOU ARE COMING TO WORK DETERMINES YOUR REAL INTEREST . . . . AND WILL DIRECT YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS FOR THE DAY.

7.       A COMPLEX EXPERIMENT IS USUALLY THE LEAST PRODUCTIVE.
A 500 tube experiment is very susceptible to Murphy’s first law. Don’t try to answer it all at once. Do a few things right. Too much phenomenology provides more complexity and little insight.

8.       IT IS TIME TO DO SOME EXPERIMENTS, OTHERS MUST WAIT.
There are many experiments worth doing but only a few great ones. Don’t do the next experiment to come to mind. Try to think up a critical experiment that will go to the heart of the question.

9.        YOU ARE GOING TO BE SURPRISED AT THE SIMPLICITY AND BEAUTY OF THE REAL ANSWER.
Almost a billion years went into selecting the system that you are studying. Remember, Crick and Watson didn’t make the double helix, they only discovered an ancient system still operating today. It had plenty of time to be perfected.

10.    ALL NEW IDEAS ARE RESISTED BY YOU -AUTHORITIES - THE EDITORS - STUDY SECTIONS- DEPARTMENT CHAIRMEN - PEERS – AND FRIENDS. IF THIS DISCOURAGES YOU, YOU SHOULD RETIRE EARLY. HOWEVER, MOST CRITICISM CAN BE CONSTRUCTIVE IF YOU LISTEN
WITH AN OPEN MIND.                                                                                               There is a fine line between being persistent and being bullheaded. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Don’t give it. If your ideas are easily accepted, they are probably wrong. Most of the real great discoveries were first rejected and turned down for publication. There is a direct relationship between the unusual nature of a new discovery and the resistance to acceptance.

11.      A  GOOD  PAPER  IS  SIMPLE, CLEAR AND TO THE POINT.
If the average reviewer can’t understand your point, the average reader probably won’t either; the reviewer usually spends more time with your paper. You know what you did, but you won’t be there to explain it to the reader. You don’t have to tell them every experiment you did and bore them to tears, just be sure they understand the most critical ones. A paper can be correct but not informative to the average reader. An example - read your insurance policy. Someone is going to try to confirm your observation; make it easy for them to repeat your work.

12.     IF TWO GOOD INVESTIGATORS DISAGREE AND A PARADOX SEEMS TO EXIST, BOTH OF THEIR DATA ARE PROBABLY CORRECT, AND WE JUST NEED A NEW EXPLANATION TO ENCOMPASS BOTH OBSERVATIONS.
Never assume that those who oppose your ideas are stupid. The more you disagree with the data of others, the less chance you have of finding the truth. Try to devise a model that also integrates as many observations of others as possible. All good experiments must be accounted for in the end. You are not the only one who can do a good experiment.

13.     GIVE EVERYONE CREDIT.                                                         

You are not the first one to study this problem, nor will you be the last. Remember, the ones reviewing and judging your paper have already worked in the same field and they also know who did what. Give the true credit where it is due. Your reputation will be made by all of your studies and by how professional you are.

14.     DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THE AUTHORITY OF THE PRINTED PAGE. 

The observation of the “proof” might be correct, but how was the experiment conducted? Most of what you and I think today will appear silly in 20years. At least, we can do our best. Keep in mind the limitations and state them.

15.    MANY BRIGHT PEOPLE ARE PARALYZED BY NEGATIVE THINKING.
They are often busy trying to prove someone wrong instead of trying to find out what is right or new. Every experiment, yours and others, is limited and is only an approximation. Look for clues because few things are ever proven. Test all theories.

16.  THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENTS ARE HONESTY, DESIRE, CLEAR THINKING, CONFIDENCE AND HARD WORK.
If you aren’t willing to work long, hard hours and sacrifice in pursuit of this goal, then you are not willing to pay the price and maybe you should move over and give someone else a chance.

IN CONCLUSION: If you are lucky, the world will be paying you a modest salary for what you consider your hobby, and you, in turn, will be contributing to some important answers for our present and future society. As you teach and lead, you will amplify your
efforts and those of others, and if appropriate, the influence will continue after you cease. What you learn from courses, lectures and books that are reflected in your course grades will be a very small fraction of your FINAL EXAM. Good luck in your careers.


                                          The Prostate 39:323–325 (1999)             

  

The problem with big Pharma

The recent economic crises hit hard across the board taking no prisoners. Funding for academic research has dropped significantly and in industry there have been massive layoffs.

"According to recruitment specialists Challenger, Gray & Christmas (Chicago, IL, USA), the number of pharmaceutical industry jobs eliminated in the first ten months of 2010 was 45,263 (in 2009, it was 58,696 jobs). "

So what does this mean for fresh faced young PhDs and postdocs ready to begin their careers? Honestly, I don't know...I'm not going to pretend to know how to fix the problem but I think I know what some of the problems are.

This article in Nature Biotechnology does a pretty good job of outlining the issues and presenting proposed solutions.

OK..that's the good stuff backed by lots of background and research...here's my opinion backed by 3 wonderful years working as a scientist in a pharmaceutical company. There are 3 main issues that I feel need to be addressed:

1. Too many chiefs not enough Indians:

      There are too many layers of management and not enough people doing the work. Brilliant scientists are rewarded by being promoted as it should be, but each promotion takes them further away from the bench. While scientists left at the bench are good at what they do and have years of experience under their belt, they often lack the motivation to step outside their comfort zone.
Definitely not the best breeding ground for ground breaking science = not enough compounds in the pipeline = not enough new drugs on the market = not profit for pharma = layoffs and hiring freeze

2. Not enough educated risk taking:

"It's a business"...the most overused phrase regarding drug companies. Often times, promising projects get killed way too early because it would take a more time and money to get the project off the ground. Rather than investing in a risky but promising project, a safer target is chosen which may or may not end up making it all the way to the market.  

3. Failure to promote career development:

This kind of goes hand in hand with the number one problem. Getting a good, secure job is like a marriage. People get into a comfortable routine...come in at 9am...leave at 5pm...lunch at 11:30am, 2- hour long meeting and whatever work you can get done in between the meetings and all the compliance training modules/ faux team building exercises...sheesh..no wonder no new discoveries are being made.
I digress...
If career development is made a priority, employees can be pushed (gently at first..and the progressively less gently) to expand their horizons and explore other areas that they might find interesting...even if it means stepping away from the bench and exploring other avenues. This way, employees that want to be at the bench and develop their career in that direction and the employees that want to grow in another direction can do so with renewed zest thereby increasing company productivity. It's a win-win situation for both employee and company.
Happy wife..happy life!

I guess my bottom line is this...to make it in industry, we have to stay flexible and be willing to expand our knowledge base to include learning new skills and techniques while retaining the ability to get down and dirty at the bench when the need arises..corner office, company car and personal assistant be damned!
    

Beyond the Bench

According to an article published in The Economist, Doctoral degrees: The disposable academic,we the current graduate students in universities around the world are pretty much screwed!

"Research at one American university found that those who finish are no cleverer than those who do not. Poor supervision, bad job prospects or lack of money cause them to run out of steam."

After years and years....and years of "seven-day weeks, ten-hour days, low pay..", our job prospects out in the real world are bleak.

"100,000 doctoral degrees produced between 2005 and 2009 and only 16,000 new professorships."

We have a higher chance of being diagnosed with cancer than we do of landing that gig as an assistant professor we've been dreaming about since we were 5 years old. Not motivated enough to pour your blood, sweat and tears into that western blot? Well, how about this....

"Over all subjects, a PhD commands only a 3% premium over a master’s degree."

or this...

"As this year’s new crop of graduate students bounce into their research, few will be willing to accept that the system they are entering could be designed for the benefit of others, that even hard work and brilliance may well not be enough to succeed, and that they would be better off doing something else." 

After reading this article, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...so I did both (making sure I included a control).

Upon further evaluation, I decided that the message of this article is not all bad. For current graduate students, we know that the system is not necessarily designed to work in our favor regardless of whether we want to remain in academia or go into industry. We also know the areas which need to be improved upon..

"...many PhDs find it tough to transfer their skills into the job market."

"Some universities are now offering their PhD students training in soft skills such as communication and teamwork that may be useful in the labour market."

 

The purpose of this blog is quite simple

• Provide a central location for all the tools that might make us  more attractive to prospective employers (academic and non-academic)
• Serve as an outlet for current graduate students to express their ideas, frustrations and solutions to problems we face
• Promote networking among graduate students around the world
• Reassure prospective graduate students that life as an indentured servant a grad student is not all bad

On the contrary, beyond the bench, graduate school is an adventure of a lifetime. Where else would we get paid to learn, do cool experiments that may or may not work, attend seminars by renowned experts for free, work with some of the greatest minds of our time, establish long lasting connections? Nowhere I tell ya...absolutely nowhere.